CoolMonk.org

Eminent journalism schools in India and the Middle East will soon hire former south african hockey player Jonty Rhodes and John Cleese of the Monty Python fame as visiting faculty for a new crash course called ‘How best to attack your victim’ . The news report also mentioned, that the management’s original plan of trying to rope in Dada and Akki went in vain as the students considered their methods ‘out-of-syllabus’, as it involved stripping down to your boxers, which some of the students didn’t possess at the time the decision was made.

Jonty Rhodes who has been termed ‘Superman’ (wears his boxer shorts inside his pants) for his superior acrobatic skills and John Cleese who knows best to attack from and defend with fruits other than the jack, commented on reasons for failed attempts of journalists who threw shoes at popular politicians being the lack of in-depth knowledge in journalism and also the students needed fine tuning with the necessary skill.

But, on the contrary, Jonty also mentioned that hiring research scientists in physics or mathematics would help newspapers get their victim, as they had the best knowledge of parabola and straight lines. But, his view of Google hiring similar Scientists for a stint with Ajax in football didn’t quite go well with most people present in the meeting room. Cleese was of the opinon, instead of journalists walking back with a shoe less on one of their foot, using footballs could put their shoes to better use. He didn’t rule out the possibility of news agencies using dolphins or elephants for the same reason for better coverage.

Apparently, the Indian government is running short of padmashri awards.  The number of requests has increased threefold and, the elite officials have raised concerns over meeting with the surge in demand.  Mr Bachan has requested one for each of his rooms, and, has suggested that “Akki” should resort to other means of flaunting his “shri” status.  But, he also advised him to try the zipper instead of the button fly next time around.

Ms Bachan has also been threatening to appear in more than one film a year — if the award wasn’t given to her at least once in 2 years.  Harbhajan singh was quick to spot the doosra in the equation, and, was curious to know what award that would fetch him.  Harbhajan’s mother has been trying to shop for a few , and has also requested the manufacturers to open more units, to meet the customer demand.   Mr Nair of the debonair fame also hasn’t been too pleased with Akki’s act and even when not asked for his comments said “He should not only apologise but also return the Padma Shri award he was honoured with on March 31.”

In the times when the economy has been slowing down, Mr Ambani said he was thinking of conducting his own padmashri awards ceremony for outstanding achievement.  When asked how different it was going to be from the real one, he had a wicked smile, which usually meant he had to consult with Sehwag about it.

There’s something terribly going wrong with Indians (most of ‘em :)) living abroad.  One, claiming to be the guardians of “Indian” spirituality, but, also playing foolish tricks like this.

Why is it having an IQ which is divisible by 22/7 or adding upto 9 — talked about like an achievement?  See, in those days I was introduced to some simple tricks like these and ‘m pleasantly amused they are still doing the rounds, thanks to our bretheirs and sistairs.

“Hey, can you say eezet to a?” — “Yes indeed, eezet to a”
“You know Constantinople? Spell It” — “I T”

and more recently

“You know HU is the prime minister of China” — “Yes I know”

If humans evolved from monkeys, why are the monkeys still around?  That’s because, we aren’t done yet.

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I got around playing with Wordle and generated a tag cloud from the content here and another old blog.

The video below explains the essence of cloud computing in a language that makes you wonder, why didn’t anyone not think about it earlier. The truth to it, is in tandem with what I’ve always believed in; any innovation should ideally solve a problem.

Cloud Computing in plain English

I’m positive Qasab himself wouldn’t know some of the “facts” mentioned in this article on frontier India site. I am not here to question the authenticity of that elaborate piece of information, but, someone has got their act together.

Earlier to this, NDTV had come up with another impressive story, looked like they stuck their ears to the interrogation room. i wouldn’t be surprised if they are still lurking around their backyard.

Yes, the world did witness a piece of history that was written for the first time. And did he not speak like a real hero and what a difference it made from the one who was stepping down.

Yet again he proves to be an excellent orator, and was quite appropriate for the times we live in. Here are my favourite parts of the speech.

The change that happened:

<snip>

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

….

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

</snip>

The change that the world will witness:

<snip>

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.

…

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

</snip>

Let’s only hope that he’s able to keep up his promise and lead his country with dignity and grace.

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